Alan is a good man but I had a choice to make between him and my girls. I have lost all respect for him. That is the hardest part of all of this. He will never stand up to her. He has told me he can't do it. He's afraid of her and wants to keep her happy so there's no fighting. If I fight the battles then he will leave me. There is no winner in this situation.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Spill the beans....
That's what I need to do...spill the beans. Do people still say that? No idea really. The story is going to be short because it hurts and I'm not good at spreading bad news. The last 18 months with Alan have been hard. I will not blame it completely on him because most of our issues stem from his ex-wife. Five years living under fear of her has left me drained. He will never stand up to her and my children and I are in danger as long as she is a part of our lives. She's tried to kill me, threatened me and my daughters, her current husband tried to ram me and Hannah in a parking lot, poisoned one of our dogs and taken me...yeah me...to court with restraining orders. Alan would never let me report any of her threats. He told me he would leave me if I did. He always wants things to go away but they do not. He is afraid of her. I am afraid of her. God has watched over me and the girls. None of us has been harmed except emotionally. My ex-husband has been great to back me up with all of this. I could have lost my own girls if he had wanted to get them out of the situation. He trusted me to keep them safe.
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5 comments:
Goodness...it sounds as if you've done everything and more than anyone could expect you to do - very good luck with your brave choice, despite the difficulties, I think you will end up in a happier place.
I can say one thing for me and that is I'm not one to quit without a fight but I've tried and the brick walls aren't budging. Time to turn left or right and walk til I find an open gate. Thank you.
I can only say that I am very relieved that you have started to post on your blog again as I was concerned about you and worried about what may have been occurring. Thankfully you are all right although you have a been having a horrid time. I understand your feeling of betrayal and frustration and thankfully you will not accept it. I wish you well in the journey and please keep posting.
Honey, you are taking care of your kids. What a great mom you are. Praying.
Rachel
Hey, Cathy, it looks like we are on the same blogging schedule. I haven't posted since March until today. I am sorry your marriage is in the beginning of the end, but you are so strong! Take care of those girlies, and I will be praying for you all for sure. Keep your head up. Much love,
~Tiff~
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